Safe and Secure

I...

I don't know why I want to blog today, or what about for that matter.

For the passed couple of hours I've felt safe and secure in the arms of an imaginary friend.  I literally lied here in bed working on homework, with my mind somewhere else: in the arms of someone who represented stability, strength, and sensitivity.  If only the person were really there. (I suddenly feel like I'm going to end up growing up to be an old lady with hundreds of cats...)
Then I fell asleep for an hour and woke up, completely dazed and wondered why I had a nice warm fuzzy feeling.  I settled back down in the arms of the imagined, and then became angry at him for allowing me to fall asleep when I should have been doing homework.

I'm a little crazy, aren't I?

Nah, I'm a lot crazier than I think I am.

And yet, people still respect me in ways I don't understand...

Well anyway, after school today, I had a rehearsal for the talent show coming up this Friday. I got to meet the other performers, get picked on by my counselor (who is running the show), and see a side of someone I'm not accustomed to.

The other acts are pretty cool. Two bands, one new only a couple weeks ago, and another who have played together for quite some time. I haven't heard either of them play yet, but I know it will be interesting. Both bands are excited to play and give all they have.
There are also two dance groups. One is more formal than the other, an urban dance squad that has regular scheduled practices at school and competes in competitions, SUDS (Shakopee Urban Dance Squad). The other is simply a group of eight or ten senior guys who have done several humorous dance numbers during big school events (pep fests, school dances, etc.). I'm excited for both because even though they are relatively new (SUDS started last year, the seniors got together at the beginning of this year), they are quite unique in their dances.
There's a girl who'll be singing and playing, on her guitar, Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah. I love that song.
Another girl who'll be singing a song I didn't catch the name or artist of, but I do know she is an AMAZING singer, and I have to follow her act.
A quiet Vietnamese girl who isn't sure of what song she is going to sing is also a part of the show.
There is a rapper, I know he raps really deep meaningful songs.
A guy who does really good impressions too! He did some Sparta for us today. hahaha it was awesome.
Two people who will be performing a song from a musical of the name I didn't catch. All I know is that these two are absolutely amazing. If you ever hear about a Caleb Richards becoming famous, yeah, he went to my school. hahahaha
I think there are more, but they didn't show up to rehearsal today. I'm so excited to watch everyone perform. (:
As for me, I'm performing an original. No big deal, the others will be SO MUCH MORE AWESOME.

A couple of days ago, I met up with my counselor to talk about where I was heading with my goals. Honestly, I'm completely at a loss as to where I want to go for college, because my family will be moving to Texas, from Minnesota, after I graduate. I love the place I grew up in, but I also love my family. Is it bad that I have a difficult time picking between those two?
Well anyway, my counselor knows that I auditioned for the talent show (because he was there of course) and apparently he thoroughly enjoyed the lyrics of the songs I sang. He's just starting to put me out on the spot a lot more now.

I'm really bad at transitions, ask those who've edited my papers. LOL I jumped from one topic I was going to talk about, to another without anything in between. Now transitioning into the third part of my thesis... (that was a terrible transition)

One of the dance group members is also in one of my classes. In class, he's very comfortable with the people around him, and he generally ignores me for the most part. But when we saw each other by the room rehearsal was taking place, apparently we were both shocked that the other was performing for the talent show. All of a sudden he was a shy little boy who made me smile inside because it was WAY TOO DARN CUTE FOR ME TO HANDLE. There was the foot twisting with the toes on the ground (I don't know if I explained that well...), the hands awkwardly held together in the front, the voice shied with a bit of soft tone (it's usually kind of aggressive), and the small smile that had me going crazy.
At least I'm glad I know I react like a girl. I'm not completely weird.

This week is going to be hectic. Projects of all sorts, rehearsals, and volunteering in the ER Wednesday. Oh, those tests too.
I just need the safe and secure sense implanted in my head. That way I don't freak out about everything.

And thus the week begins.