How Awkward Can I Be?

AGH. FINALLY. I have to admit, I would not allow myself to write another post until I finished another section of my 20 page paper I have to finish by next Tuesday.  However, the three pages I wrote (which took me far too long to write) were composed terribly.  They had absolutely no voice in them. I just wanted to get them done. Absolutely tired of this paper. Can't wait to be done, then I can feel free.

I warn you, this next part may be a little strange to read, disgusting maybe. My filter isn't very effective.

Have you ever sat in the bathroom, on the toilet, with your pants down of course, and pooped the greatest feeling in the world? I mean, you would feel completely out of it in the first place, and then you go release your junk and all those bad feelings away into the toilet. Simply amazing. It's awesome what pooping can do for you, huh?

It's late. I'm really hyped up in my thinking when it's late... if that really says anything to you.

I woke up this morning, around six and laid there in bed until seven. But during the entire time, listening to a Christian radio station of course, I turned, looked at one of three of my Winnie the Pooh, and wondered if I would have someone beside me in the future. Just as loyal as this darn stuffed bear, always by my side in times of loneliness and of need. I suppose I can't expect much out of anyone, but I wonder if I'll ever -- I sat here for ten minutes, unsure of where to go with that sentence. So I'll start a new one. Winnie brings me comfort, that's all I know. But will there be anyone else of significance that can do the same?

I did eventually get out of bed, brushed my teeth and wondered when I would replace my toothbrush. The bristles are all worn out.

Sometimes, when I look into the mirror in the morning, I think: "Damn, I'm pretty darn sexy today."
I don't know what makes me think it, but I do. In all seriousness, I don't like praising myself, but that one comes up every so often, and I actually feel uncomfortable about it. Why do I think it, if I don't feel comfortable about it?

This music I'm listening to sounds pretty adventurous. It would be awesome if I were driving with this music on, it would be like a secret mission in a movie.

Did you know a group of unicorns is called a blessing?

Crap. I have yet to read today's Gospel. Seriously at this moment, I feel extremely creepy-stalkery like. Almost as if I am taking on the personality of the person who inspired me to start this. From reading his posts, I learned that he reads a part of the Bible everyday. Which is completely awesome. Then I realized that I do that too, kind of. My mom forced it upon me at least half a year ago. So Stevie makes me feel really bad about myself because I'm not completely willing to do it. And his first post with all the music references, honestly I've refrained myself from doing that in here. Oh God help me. I don't want to be a creepy fan, who seems to be stalking... okay I'll just stop. Sorry Stevie if I'm creeping you out. You don't know how much of my life you actually changed from just accepting my Facebook friend request. It changed in a completely good way too. Oh and, even if I hadn't read any of your posts and decided on starting a blog anyway, I would have written in choppy thoughts too. >.<
Last thing, you are currently my most favorite person in the world. I mean, I just met you, and this is crazy. But...

Okay. This is really starting to make me wonder if it is creeping you out or not.

Back to my own life... wait, that is my life. This is so much fun. I can't believe I admitted all of the above, but I don't really care if anyone sees it. haha man this feels great. I'll probably regret it one day. Oh well.

Sometimes I wake up at three in  the morning, wonder what someone (could be anyone) might be doing, realize they're probably sleeping, and then wonder why I'm wondering what the person might be doing. I don't understand why I do. I stare at the clock for a couple of minutes, and then fall back asleep.

I'm so weird.

But God made me this way, and honestly, I love it. I love every single bit of it. That's an overstatement. I dislike how easily tempted I can be and the odd things I can get addicted to. Plus the face I make when I'm concentrating. It always looks like I'm angry and people ask if I'm okay or not.

And to end with a nightly prayer before dozing off...

Trời đã xế chiều. Giêsu ơi, con nhờ tay Mẹ Maria, mà dâng lên Chúa. Dâng chút lời cám ơn, dâng chót cả sác hồn, các việc con làm, các lời con xin, cùng với mọi khó nguy con chịu phép một ngày qua. Cùng với bóng chiêu ta, Giêsu Maria. Con hòa ca, dâng về nơi bao la. Chúa ban phép lành, một đêm ngủ an bình, hồn trong, sác tươi xinh.

(It's a song I learned in youth group. Absolutely love it.)

And spiritual communion.

Lạy Chúa Giêsu Thánh Thể, con yêu mến Chúa. Xin Chúa ngự vào tâm hồn con, và ở lại với con luôn mãi. Amen.