Idleness, Imagination, and Insanity

Several nights ago, I could say I lost my sanity.

After a couple of days of sitting around, doing nothing but eating, playing with Larry, more eating, sleeping, eating some more, reading a little, and even more eating, I've become extremely idle. Bored. There has been too much time for me to think, to ponder, to let my imagination fly free.

That's dangerous.

See, my heart is idle, too.

Since I was a kindergartner, there has always been someone I was attracted to, someone my mind would fill with when I was idle, that would make me... less bored. Don't take that the wrong way, I keep my thoughts in line, pure, simple, like a child's. I just enjoy the company of another, even if imaginary. 

If you knew me, you'd know I have Jeffy. He's imaginary. So why can't he simply keep me company?
Jeffy doesn't have his own form, that's why. Why did I make him that way? I don't know... he came about during those kindergarten years, when I didn't have friends at school because I didn't know much English, the time when I couldn't remember much.
He always took on the form of the guy I was attracted to. Hahaha, I find it awkward to admit, but that's how my mind's been like for the majority of my life.
But when my heart's idle, I can't help but feel like I'm empty, like there's nothing much I can live for. That's when I'm fortunate to have those people in my life, however I had met them, to remind me that there is more to living than... guys.

Man I feel silly.

But anyway, I've lived my life like that for so long, I feel awkward with myself when I'm not attracted to anyone. 

And I start to lose my sanity.

Not only is that part of the situation, but those several nights ago, there were 4 children who found it very amusing to drain me of my sanity, too.

I've started fighting this sort of living a couple of years ago, and I've only progressed so little.

I think I'm going to go play with Larry now and feel awkward about my singing instead of all that I admitted up there. 

Uhhhh....

I wanted to write a poem. But I got writer's block, and I can't think of anything.
I feel so lost.

Lalalalalaaaa

Uneventful

All day, I've sat around the house here in Texas, ate, played on the kids' iPads, ate, checked Facebook several times on my brother's laptop, ate, solved a Rubik's cubes more than enough times, and ate some more. And then, my aunt asked my dad what he wanted to do down here, what we would be doing for our vacation.

He doesn't know.

BARGHHHHH.

I can't take this idleness. This blogging thing is keeping me sane for the time being.

I found my Winnie the Pooh. It was in a closet among the many in my brother's room.

Everyone is planning to eat... again.
Why are we eating so much?

I suppose I could stare at the fishies.

OH YEAH. I BROUGHT A BOOK TO READ. Meh, I can spend time doing that later.

In a little village there is a boy
He plays with is favorite toy
It jingles and shines
Rumbles and chimes
A tune full of
lfsda;kjoiwelsdkjlsdkjfdaoiwejweoirlkfdajs;lvzc,cnvl;akjofwelkjwe

In a world of Fish and Beer

I made it safely to my aunt's house in Texas! My family arrived when no one would be awake besides my grandmother and one of my other aunts - 7:30 in the morning. On appearance, my aunt screamed like a madman and ran up to hug everyone, and my grandma stood there a little confused until she realized her oldest daughter's family had arrived. The little ones (all of which are younger than 9 years) woke up a tad ticked off because someone was yelling their head off, in a high pitch manner, too. 

If this were my first time here at my aunt's, I would be awkwardly surprised at the two things she was most abundant of: fish and alcohol. Not all Texans stock high in beer, ale, and wine. My aunt just happens to own a liquor store. And the explanation for the fish? They don't sell fish, my aunt's husband just loves them. There are roughly six fish tanks in this two-leveled house, each with at least nine or ten fish in them. Their store has a fish tank, too. Whenever my aunt's husband isn't doing anything, he's always prodding at this fish.

For breakfast, at 8 o'clock, we had Shipley's donuts, something the three kids who live in this house don't get very often. So while chilling with them on youtube watching videos I don't know how to describe (they were something younger children would watch), the eldest of the three told me it was "an honor to have [me] here." When asked why, he replied it was "Because we get donuts!"

After breakfast, I ran around with the two boys of the three siblings, as they attacked my Winnie the Pooh Pillowpet with their own little teddy bears. It was a grand time. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to be sore tomorrow, and by the time I leave this place, my Pooh is going to lose his head.

At 11:30, we had lunch, which consisted of a traditional Vietnamese noodle soup. It had soft chunks of crab and a lot of vegetables. Then we all took a nap. Haha. Apparently there is nothing to do during the afternoon times in Texas. We woke up and had apples while some of the males of the household played League of Legends... And now, at 4:40, I was called out to eat dinner, already.

I did pull out my guitar for a little while, only to awkwardly play for my family members. They expected me to be able to finger pick incredible songs, but in reality, I only know how to strum a few simple chords. :P

Haha, so, so far, my trip has consisted of eating, sleeping, and putting my Pillowpet in danger. Speaking of which, where did the kids hide him this time?

Can I go back to sleep?

My mother woke me up this morning at 6:30 to peel shrimp. I wasn't able to sleep well last night, kept waking up in the middle of the night, probably got around 4 hours of sleep. Perhaps I was a little too giggly, or maybe anxious about the upcoming trips I'm taking. But probably just too giggly (I  guess I'm not texting interesting people right before I go to bed anymore). I'm so tired, my eyes sting - wearing my glasses instead of contacts today (I haven't been wearing my contacts for the past couple of days anyway).

I don't know why I started blogging this morning... I can't think of anything else to say.

Working on a song, lyrics written, although currently tweaking them. I'm going to work out the music part so it doesn't sound so funny... I'll record it, but probably won't upload it on youtube until after I've performed it at a convention's talent show I wrote it for.

Goodness I'm so tired.

Well, time to go to Mass.

Painting

For the passed two days my dad, my siblings, and I have been painting the walls of our house a beige sort of color. Well, not all of the walls. Just the dirty white ones. We also have a room with green walls and a room with yellow walls.

Haha. Now that I think of it, we don't actually call those rooms what they really are. Instead of the "family room", "living room", or "dining room", we call them, the "yellow room", the "T.V room", and the "green room". It's a shame I can't distinguish between the family and living room, but I sure can tell a dirty white walled room with a T.V from a yellow walled room with a desktop.

The beige color makes the house look a lot homier. Tomorrow we'll finish one of the rooms on the main level, and then we'll paint my little brother's room beige, and then two rooms (mine and my sister's) a light blue.

Actually, the beige color is called "Fresh Linen". I don't understand why... I would associate "Fresh Linen" with a scent, and not a color. I forgot what the blue color was called, but I think it started with "Homegrown".  haha. What funny names.

While watching my dad paint over the dirty white walls, I wondered how in the world my family managed to get them so marked up. It made me think of masks. Covering up the marks and the dents, mistakes and regrets.

It made me think of my own mask.
I have quite a bit hidden from the rest of the world, and a part of me wants to remove the mask. But I don't know if the world is ready for that.

Challenge completed.

It's crazy how quickly this school year went. Yesterday I was a junior, and now I rise up to seniority status. Being a senior doesn't mean much to me, though. Besides graduating around this time of next year, I might as well be one of the underclassmen. My class of 2013 is going to be dominated by numbers of the sophomores next year anyway (my high school is just 10-12). There's a certain sense of bullying that goes on between the upperclassmen and the underclassmen. I don't understand it. Then again, I am pretty naive. LINK Crew was made to counter that bullying, wasn't it? So why is there so much slander that goes around in the Crew? I'm positive I joined so I could help out the little sheep of next year, but others I'm not too sure if they have the same goal in mind.

I wasn't planning on talking about this bullying. I wanted to talk about my success of junior year. LOL

So I was told at the end of my sophomore year that junior year is going to be the hardest year of high school. That challenge was accepted. While completing tasks of the challenge throughout the year, I kept thinking to myself: "I don't know what those silly seniors were talking about. This is so easy." and I would watch the peers around me suffer from the challenge. I even took a senior class to make it more difficult, but frankly, it wasn't any different from my sophomore year. I guess I gained another level of work ethic before I started (which would be ironic because during the last month of school, I hardly did anything). I passed my core classes with flying colors, and people talk about it with a little envy in their voices. They call me the overachiever, they tell me I work too hard. But all I'm doing is my best. What are they doing? Meh. I guess it doesn't matter to me.

I completed this challenge, and now a new challenge comes close. I'm taking quite a few college courses next year (glad my school has College in the Schools), so I'll be completing college leveled challenges (not like I haven't in the junior year, I'm just going to take a lot more senior year). The thing is, all year the Calculus students have complained and suffered through the course. I'm excited to go far and beyond that, too.


I'm lacking creativity. So I'll just go play on Larry.
Here's to summer!